 |
||
WHERE ARE THE FRIENDS Our closest friends were out of the country when Joe died. The husband called as soon as they heard the news. After their initial expressions of caring, there was a dropping off of contact to almost nothing. I was so disappointed and hurt. This happened with some other friends, too. I am trying to understand. |
 |
|
|
My Friends Have Disappeared Because: They care about me and want to make it all right again. But they can't "fix it," and this presents a hopeless situation. Our lifestyles are no longer the same. I am no longer part of a couple. I'm dealing with probate, interpreting insurance forms, and wrestling with finances. They cannot relate to where I am. Some people are not comfortable handling their own feelings, much less my feelings. Joe's death is a threat to their own mortality. If he died, so will they. This is too difficult to handle. They want me to be finished with my grieving and I'm not. Their time limit for me has expired. My very presence is a reminder of Joe's death. It is more comfortable if I am not where they can see me right now. |
||
|
They have not lost a mate, so they cannot possibly appreciate the depth of my grief. Earlier, I would not have understood either. In my condition, I don't fit into light social gatherings. I can't seem to pull myself "up," and they resent being pulled "down." They think that finding another companion for me is the perfect solution. They try to set this up, and I'm not ready. Summary Statement: I understand why these friendships are diminishing. It is probably related more to the situation and where they are, than to me. A few friends have remained. They are treasured beyond measure. I am also making new friends who understand my grief. These select friends form a support circle around me. Later, I may reconnect with some of my former friends.
|
||
|
Click on the links below to read the chapters: NOBODY'S HOME |
||
 |
photos | stories | chapters |
© Copyright 2003 Lifewords, Inc
All Rights Reserved |
